by Marcy Heller

There was a saying attributed to Jesus in, ‘The Gospel of Thomas’, which was written right after his death, it begins with, “The seeker should not stop until he finds. When he does find, he will be disturbed. After being disturbed, he will be astonished. Then he will reign over everything.”

Discover what?  What are we all looking for?  More importantly what are you seeking? The correct and true answer is what we all desire is to be happy!  However, we have been taught to look outside of ourselves and to not stop seeking until we discover that magic bullet! Whether it is more love, power, financial freedom, prosperity, security, health, control, beauty, etc.

In the second line of this quote, the power of this gospel is revealed, “When he does find, he will be disturbed.” Which brings us to where we are now and what the path called ‘Spirituality’ is all about!  The willingness to be disturbed.  Right now many of us can relate to that same feeling of being disturbed! Why is this so? The brilliant teacher, Adyashanti wrote in his book, ‘Falling from Grace’ “This line is pointing to why most people don’t find lasting happiness—because most people don’t want to be disturbed.  Most of us don’t want to be bothered. We don’t want our search for happiness to have any difficulty in it. What we really want is to be given happiness on a platter.  But to find what true happiness is, we must actually be willing to be disturbed, surprised, wrong in our assumptions—and cast into a very deep well of unknowing. What does it mean to be disturbed, and why would we possibly open to this or desire it on any level?  To understand this, we must look closely at our own minds, at those things we believe in, at the thoughts onto which we grasp. The challenge is that most of us have no idea how to seek. For most of us, seeking is just another form of grasping and attainment. But this isn’t the kind of seeking that Jesus is referring to here. Jesus is pointing to a way to seek that was revealed long, long ago: to seek within. If we really look at it, anything we can acquire from the outside will eventually fade away. This is the law of impermanence that the Buddha taught about thousands of years ago. Whether it is power, control, money, people, or health, everything that you see around you is in a process of arising and then decaying. Just as your lungs breathe in and then breathe out, it’s necessary for things to fall away so that life can breathe new again. This is one of the laws of the universe: that everything you see, taste, touch, and feel will eventually disappear back into the source from which it came, only to be reborn and appear yet again, receding again back into the source. And the truth is that until reality is seen clearly, as it is, there will be no lasting peace or happiness, so we must first find out what is real, who we are, and what life is at its core.”

We were built for belief. Believing, thinking especially with the intense energies becoming even stronger while living in these extraordinary and evolutionary times. For certain we are all healing in the most mysterious ways. What’s more, we have all been diluted to look in the wrong direction! We have been drinking the Kool-Aid!  Looking for what’s behind that magic curtain. We have been taught, guided and encouraged to search for what lies outside of us. Instead of as they say in Zen, “Where do you wonder in search of it, when it is standing in your own backyard!”

Spirituality is about accepting what is and being alright with whatever is happening. That’s why it is disturbing.  It’s about being detached and feeling at peace with whatever our minds and hearts are doing.  It is counter intuitive since we are so programmed to take action, to do something that would make us feel better instead of just accepting what is!  We stop feeling disturbed when we surrender to what is, rather than resist the experience. We are content, no matter what! It’s difficult to believe because the mind is so use to trying to figure out how to be okay by getting the things we believe will make us happy!

Isn’t it amazing how we keep on doing the same thing over and over, expecting a different result? This is time to break the pattern – close the door permanently behind you on what is not working, has never worked or isn’t worth the struggle any more!

To begin living from what we believe is our truth, and not someone else’s! To be willing to be disturbed! This is the first step. And, certainly not the last nor a negative one. To be willing to start to un-clutter the chaos.  To be disturbed means you’re willing to see the truth, you’re willing to see that maybe things aren’t the way you thought they were.  Even though it may feel like the carpet has been swept from under us and feeling even more confused, uncertain and much more vulnerable. To be willing to trust! When we begin to wake-up to become aware and more conscious, to realize how we have deluded ourselves because of what we have held on to and for the most part that has continued to cause us even more stress and suffering. It’s about digging a little deeper into what is really disturbing us. To begin to take responsibility that we may of gotten this all wrong.  Your Soul will thank you!

In his newest book, ‘Living Untethered’,  Michael Singer wrote, “Once you’re okay in there, there’s much less to talk about. When you’re in the presence of someone you love, you’re not thinking about how to find love. You’re just experiencing the beauty of the love. Likewise, when you are okay in there, you will not be thinking about how to be okay. You will just be relaxing into the quiet state of peaceful well-being. This requires that you be okay with your thoughts and emotions. Relaxing in their presence is a good start to being okay with them. If you can’t willfully relax in the face of thoughts and emotions, you will have to do something about them. You will get pulled down into them and attempt to do something to fix what is bothering you. Better to simply relax and allow the discomforting thoughts the room they need to release. When you relax back into witness consciousness, you are surrendering to the reality of what’s happening.” Thus, when we feel it, we can heal it!

More than ever with everything going on it is essential we become certain of the relationship we have with our deeper self since each of us seems to be going through our own personal metamorphosis. This is the most wonderful time to know ourselves, to raise our vibrations and to lift our consciousness and understand like never before the expansive nature of our Being. Staying in the Penthouse isn’t a place it is the awareness of being able to stay as conscious as we possible can while life is just happening!

In the beginning was the word!  Everything we tell ourselves now is how we are exercising and playing out our magic! This is how the Divine is communicating with us. How we can continue to course correct and stay true to our own authentic selves. When we can really hear what is being communicated to us through our own Divine channel and to be okay with whatever it is saying. This is how we can stay tethered to our Light!  This psychic hotline within ourselves is the greatest gift ever devised by the G-ds so we can keep moving forward according to our Soul’s Blueprint and find our True North in these very transcendental times.  This is one of our biggest responsibilities being on a spiritual journey today. To be anchored to the Light when everyone and everything expands to its fullest potential!

As we are letting go, like all deaths, it is opening up and giving us the opportunity to give birth to a new force and a wider and more illuminated presence of the divine within all of us. With everything we are facing it is essential that we never forget how truly powerful we are – that joy is our birthright! In the spirit of our joy, we must as a community find our way forward and celebrate the infinite wellspring of love, grace, happiness and beauty that resides in each of us at our core. Our Power and Spirit can never be destroyed even by the worst agony and the most devastating defeat. It is up to us to ask and know we are worthy of receiving from eons of lifetimes to service to G-d and humanity to receive more of these wonderful qualities. “From joy all beings have come, by joy they all live, and unto joy they all return.” Just like Gandhi had always taught  ‘Be the Change you wish to see in the world.’