Tara Brach, a wonderful meditation teacher asks us in her book ‘Radical Acceptance”, “How can we be without anxiety in our imperfections – accepting ourselves just as we are?” What do we need to learn to live in harmony without being anxious about our imperfections?
Last Saturday I chose to create a wonderful but harsh experience that led me to another level on my healing journey. While caught up in the aftermath of this drama and playing out the gamut of emotions of hurt, anger and judging myself in a web of unworthiness it became clear to me that my feelings of not being enough were at the root of this most painful experience. Even though I was trying everything to escape and push away the feelings of being deficient and not worthy my psyche wouldn’t let me withdraw from being present with the feelings of fear and what was wrong and not acceptable within me. The more I pushed away and didn’t want to recognize these parts of myself the more Spirit wouldn’t allow my fear to reject these waves of emotions. Most likely because these were the parts of me that were needing the most love and attention. Moreover, my wounded self felt this deep pain of sadness and despair of not being able to move forward. I then realized that for many of us that this has become an epidemic of feeling we are not enough! These feelings of helplessness and unworthiness helped me realize that on this path we are traveling, to be mindful and paying attention to what we are feeling is a necessary gateway for our awakening. For only when we are open to learning will we be able to heal. What’s more, to remain conscious and be fully present to whatever that is happening, to welcome and invite every feeling, thought and experience with an open mind. This experience had its hold on me and no matter how hard I tried it wasn’t going to be pushed away – therefore my experience became the foundation for my path.
All too often this path gently reminds us that we not reject any part of our life. For me it was enlightening to know that true freedom only becomes possible when we face whatever that is happening with mindfulness, compassion and a great love toward ourselves. To learn we have to be open to everything. For life is always coming through us not to us? Most of us never had great role-models growing up because no matter how much our parents loved us then never really learned to love themselves. We never really received the love and understanding we all yearned for. Spiritual re-parenting requires us to learn to cultivate in our awareness the qualities that allow us to embrace and heal our wounded parts. To be in harmony in the oneness of things is to be fully present. It is only then that we can be in a state of learning to love rather being in a state of trying to control the outcome to avoid pain. Today was a wonderful window for me to create that space to expand love and compassion for myself and then for others. As I recognized my wounded self I was able to wake-up and with the intention to have more love and compassion for myself my worst fears were coming to the surface to be healed. Only then could I transform and awaken to my higher self.
We are the universe in person expressing itself. And the only thing that the universe wants in return is for us to be all we can be and go all the way. In order to achieve that worthy goal we have to feel we deserve everything. However, when we reject, push away and are not loving to ourselves it just creates more of the same and then much to our disappointment we then create a world that mirrors those rejected and un-loving feelings back to us!
The Buddha taught that this human birth is a precious gift because it gives us the opportunity to realize the love and awareness are our true nature. The Dalai Lama pointed that out that we all have Buddha nature and Spiritual awakening is the process of recognizing our goodness and our natural wisdom.
Open up to receive more than you ever dreamed possible and as you live each moment today know without a doubt how Budda-ful you you truly are! Simply because in all the world there is no one else like you. There is no other heart like yours. There is no other smile like yours. There is no other essence like yours. There is no other laugh like yours. We are here to keep evolving into the Divine that is our own true self! Just like a baby doesn’t have to achieve something to be loved, nor do we! Celebrate today because there will never be another You! How does it get any better than that!?