by Marcy Heller
Full disclosure. I have one simple agenda. More than anything else I want to share what I have learned with you. It’s so simple and not so easy! As one dig partner pointed out, it’s counter-intuitive to want to go within and find pain!
On April 16, 2018, my life changed. I became the author of my life. Consequently, because of my own personal transition and what I AM about to share can and will change your life if you ‘Dare to Dig’!
The following is not only a personal account of the transformation that led me on this sacred journey toward wholeness but it brought up the question of why we need more pioneers to be brave leaders that find the courage to not only change themselves but also the whole culture at large. I have a Dream. Not only do I want to share my experience of how Divine Love has had a profound effect on my life, I want to live in a world with braver, more courageous beings who want to be able to pass on a more loving, compassionate world to our children, people who take responsibility for themselves and have the courage to develop that potential in others. What is transpiring for me hopefully will be for you as well if you choose to take the high road. It is a fierce reminder of the essential and unequivocal importance of becoming whole again, of knowing who and what you truly are, and how you are here to serve.
How would it feel to live a pain free life and to feel that it’s possible to experience unconditional Love,a life that experiences Divine Love in ever increasing measure, to fall in love with your own Self-your own Soul?
I have come to believe that the Soul reason why we are here is to discover our Soul-full Self. It is not a walk in the park and it can be the most arduous and difficult journey you will ever face. And yet from my perception, it is the spiritual brass ring. It is winning the spiritual lottery. The foundation of our Journey from what we think of Ourselves toward the Holy Grail of Awakening to our Soul. It is the discovery of our consciousness that extends beyond our human body.
My growth is directly attributed to the work from our book, ‘The Spiritual Archaeologist.’ I have been watching myself in the last seventeen months genuinely transform from the inside out. What’s more, I have experienced greater insight from my Soul than I could from my own human consciousness. Learning how to see with the eyes of our Soul removes our layers of pain that block our ability see our truth. I realized I had told myself story after story, believing it was real; however, even though it appeared to be real it wasn’t true. They were stories I created to keep myself small and keep in place all the false perceptions I had come to believe.
When we ask and begin to seek and feel Divine Love inside ourselves instead of looking on the outside, the universe begins to conspire to help us remove every layer of pain that is blocking us from experiencing and knowing who we truly are.
As Marcus Aurelius had declared hundreds of years ago in Rome, “What stands in the way becomes the Way.” When I started to dig I didn’t know nor could I understand how much shame, guilt, vulnerability, anger, anxiety and other personality behaviors could corrode the very things I valued the most. Now instead of attempting to understand what is, I now feel and know what is! What were some of the huge barriers that continued to prevent me from being and becoming who and what I held most dear.
Some of the truths and layers of pain that were revealed to me through the Spiritual Archaeologist are endless. For example, instead of spending so much time addressing and rationalizing my fears I am now able to acknowledge and address why and where some of those fears first appeared. Moreover, how my perfectionism has kept me from knowing who I AM and how I have come here to serve. I realized how stuck I was daily defining my regrets, disappointments and failures, continuing to recycle old wounds that stifled my growth and learning. Instead of taking risks to go forward and trying something different, I acted on my old passive-aggressive way. For myself ‘Daring to Dig’ has and continues to help me uncover and look at not only what walls I was putting up but to also discover where all the icebergs were that were eclipsing who and what I AM.
To dig, and get down and dirty is to stick with the messiness of it all. To become fearless and responsible for our actions. To show up for ourselves and others with an open heart, creating a sacred space that leads with the energy of our hearts and not our egos. We have created a society that has resorted to numbing ourselves, instead of allowing us to be comfortable with the discomfort while we ask the difficult questions of why and where did these feelings come from originally? Instead of calling upon our numbing devices for comfort we can to paraphrase Roshi Joan Halifax, “We can strengthen our backs, and develop a spine that’s flexible but sturdy. We can learn to be truly transparent, seeing the world clearly – and letting the world see into us.”
For myself, daring to dig has given me the self-respect, and resilience to act on my feelings knowing when I AM true to myself I also know who I am, what I am and who I serve. It has given me the get out of jail card as well as the keys to heaven. I am free. I can finally be me! And how does it get better than that?
In doing the work of the Spiritual Archaeologist we have to be vigilant about creating a space in which people can breathe, feel safe and acknowledged so they can feel pure, unconditional Love. In other words, we must bring to the table a higher standard of behavior that what I or others have experienced in our current culture. Or, as Brene’ Brown put it so perfectly and who has coined the phase ‘Daring Bravely’!
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.” -Theodore Roosevelt
In order for me to continue to do this work I must cultivate the courage to dare bravely. To be vulnerable and not continue defending myself or armor up when the pain hurts too much. Or even worse, disconnect from my emotions to stop the pain. As we wrote in the book, pain just hurts. However, the only way to unpack it is through it. With unconditional Love as our tool, we Dig through layers of pain and false perceptions to Discover Divine Love is within us!
As humans, we hold on to our stories. When we immerse ourselves into that cave of failure and hurt what we must ultimately confront is our own fear and our limited perceptions. We believed them and begin to fashion our life around them. We made up this illusion of who we are, how we are perceived and ultimately how we failed over and over. The most painful part is how we diminished ourselves about our own selves and our value.
When we begin to grasp the energy of Divine Love that is infinite and ever more expanding, our perception of it changes everything and our stories no longer serve to define us. They, along with our false perceptions fade away underneath so we can directly experience the essence of Divine Love in its natural state of energy and light. When we begin to take responsibility for ourselves and our false perceptions of fear, aggression, anxiety, shame and guilt, just to name a few, we begin to take our life force back and begin living our truth. We begin to live our lives in the light where we can take accountability and begin to learn and grow.
I have learned that the greatest obstacle to my own growth was not fear, but how I responded to it. All this time it prevented me from my own authentic self. I didn’t live what I valued most. I wasn’t courageous enough to be true to myself for fear of not being loved, accepted or the worst-case, being abandoned. I am brave enough now to have these tough conversations, to be vulnerable and to finally have the courage to be Me!
My adventure continues to unfold. Rising strong for me is a perfect storm to dive deep within. Everywhere I go, angelic opportunities are presenting themselves and assisting me to help clear the darkest places within my psyche. I invite you to receive these gifts of transformation and the freedom that is available to those who are willing to let go and allow Divine Love within them to open their wings and fly.
My wish is that for those of you who are inspired to find a way to create from your Soul the most extraordinary adventure to live the most awakened, clear and loving life from your Heart. We are on the tail end of having come out from one of the most intense times. As we tune into these higher frequencies with all these rapid energies its essential to be true to ourselves and to follow our hearts to wherever your own truth is. Trust whatever your receiving and know Divine Love is going to take you in your own direction.
May all of your expressions ripple out into the world and cause great happiness, joy and love to all who you are graced to touch. I bow to your courage, your resilience, your pioneering Spirit. THANK YOU for being here. Know you are the miracle workers connected to and an extension of Divine Love herself. This is our time in history to finally be who we truly are. For nothing is more precious nor more profoundly powerful than for us to amplify the evolution of Love. And, even though your journey may be silent, invisible or indescribable just know at the end of the day the world is different just because of your Light! As Ramana Maharshi wrote, “Your own Self-realization is the greatest service you can render the world.”