by Marcy Heller

“I’m not interested in being a “lover.” I’m interested in only being love.”

“Suffering is part of our training program for becoming wise.” – Ram Dass

Dearest Courageous Spiritual Champions,

Congratulations, we made it! Even though last week was a most colorful and challenging week for many, we have come out bigger, better and wiser! Just proving how resilient, strong and courageous we truly are.

If you feel like I do after being ‘tossed around’ and exhausted by all the energies in the healing and the ascension process, know that you are not alone. This past week brought so many incredible connections among ourselves as well as receiving intuitive messages and for many, hearing guidance from our angelic guides as we continue to dive deeper and deeper into the “Now Age”. Nothing is surprising and the syncronicities are becoming the new normal! We are experiencing new downloads and glimpses on a much more consistent basis surrounding self-love and compassion towards ourselves and others.

Since many of us are experiencing such highs and lows, I thought it was essential to write about this topic since knowledge is power and if you haven’t already experienced the dark night of the soul I thought it would be apropos at this time to share the cliff notes.

According to Eckart Tolle, “The ‘dark night of the soul’ is is a term used to describe what one could call a collapse of a perceived meaning in life…an eruption into your life of a deep sense of meaninglessness. The inner state in some cases is very close to what is conventionally called depression. Nothing makes sense anymore, there’s no purpose to anything. Sometimes it’s triggered by some external event, some disaster perhaps, on an external level.  The death of someone close to you could trigger it, especially premature death,  or something that you built up your life, and given it meaning – and the meaning that you had given your life, your activities, your achievements, where you are going, what is considered important, and the meaning that you had given your life for some reason collapses.  It can happen if something happens that you can’t explain away anymore, some event which seems to invalidate the meaning that your life had before.  Really what has collapsed then is the whole conceptual framework for your life, the meaning that your mind had given it. So that results in a dark place.  But people have gone into that, and then there is the possibility that you emerge out of that into a transformed state of consciousness. Life has meaning again, but it’s no longer a conceptual meaning that you can necessarily explain.  Quite often it’s from there that people awaken out of their conceptual sense of reality, which has collapsed.  They awaken into something deeper, which is no longer based on concepts in your mind.  A deeper sense of purpose or connectedness with a greater life that is not dependent on explanations or anything conceptual any longer.  It’s a kind of re-birth.  What dies is the egoic sense of self. Of course, death is always painful, but nothing real has actually died there – only an illusory identity.  Now it is probably the case that some people who’ve gone through this transformation realized that they had to go through that, in order to bring about a spiritual awakening. Often it is part of the awakening process, the death of the old self and the birth of the true self.  That’s why it’s so scary when it happens to you, instead of you actually consciously embracing it.  It can bring about the dark night of the soul – to go around the Universe without any longer interpreting it compulsively, as an innocent presence. You look upon events, people, and so on with a deep sense of aliveness. Yousense the aliveness through your own sense of aliveness, but you are not trying to fit your experience into a conceptual framework anymore.”

On the same topic is the re-calibration of our nervous system.  Matt Kahn writes, “Strange as it may sound, the dark night of the soul acts as the great equalizer, ensuring we cannot merely spiritually out-think our way into more desirable experiences, when the purpose of life is to be equally wise, heart-centered, grounded, authentic, and honest about our experiences. In dark night of the soul, the layers of shadow, or the aspects of light that don’t know themselves as the light, arise to be embraced as equal forms of divinity, no matter how they act, think, speak or behave.“

So many of us have been there and done this for a very long time so it may be appropriate to feel and know this may be our final stretch as we are tipping the scales for more love, light and peace.  I know for myself all the patterns of sabotage, fear, negativity, sadness and anger (just to name a few), have come up to be reckoned with.  The shadows of my old paradigms continue to give its best shot of trying to convince me to stay where I was in my mind and to turn away from the ever-present light always residing in my Divine Heart. What’s more, just because the dark night of the soul also fills in as a double agent for the Universe, acting as an unstoppable force of initiation where we continue to have the opportunity to enter in full and complete alignment with Source, choosing the Light no matter how uncertain or the risking that choice can be!

Last but certainly not least I invite all of you to stop judging, criticizing and evaluating yourselves.  Instead, simply open your heart and show the same kindness and compassion you would show to a dear friend.  As Kristen Neff wrote in her book “Self-Compassion’, “Compassion, then involves the recognition and clear seeing of suffering.  It also involves feelings of kindness for all people who are suffering, so that the desire to help-to ameliorate suffering emerges. Finally, compassion involves recognizing our shared human condition, flawed and fragile as it is.”  Be kind to yourselves, as you continue to anchor the Light.  You Matter!

On a lighter note, I wanted to share with you that if it wasn’t for the Grace of the Universe, all the love, support, guidance and inspiration from all of You, my family, chosen family, friends and the Universe that I receive daily, I really wonder if I would still be here doing what I love and being part of this beautiful and yet daunting human experience/renaissance.  Full disclosure, this has not been a walk in the park, as many of you know.  Even now when the parks are re-opening!  For me it has been a roller-coaster ride, at times feeling so jostled while attempting to find the balance and equanimity from all the solar flares, downloads of energy, emotions, fears and uncertainty coursing through my veins while trying to discover and stand in my own authentic power.  From my heart to yours, thank you for choosing to be here now as we move upwards and onwards.  Thank you for showing up week-after-week no matter how uncertain, crazy or challenging these times seems to be.  For me it has been an extraordinary opportunity and an honor to share with each of you every week in whatever way I can as I continue to deepen my own personal relationship with myself, the Universe and all of you – The Earth Angels, (who are leading the way), the pioneers, way-showers and mid-wives who have shown up here and now to be part of the biggest show on Earth while we are Ascending!  Take pause and allow this oracle reading from the Mother Mary Oracle Deck to enter and soak into your heart: You have been struggling and now is time for rest. Step into the light of my heart now, beloved, and let the darkness go. The time is drawing near for your resurrection and release. As you await the Grace of her light, take heed, beloved, your time of darkness is swiftly drawing to a close and a new day is soon to be upon you. The Holy Mother is with you and together you shall celebrate. Know you are my heroes! I love you madly.